Not -so-adventurous 3rd Trimester
Well here we are, I've some time, my body hurts minimal and I'm wide awake.
According to doctors, I've 6 weeks to go. They have decided at this point to let me go into labor myself and will not be inducing unless I hit 41 weeks. Apparently, if they induce me, it ups my need for C-section which my OB does not want to do. Thank you... truly!
A few weeks ago, I fell in the bathroom on a slick wet floor... daddy had just been generous enough to lovingly massage the feet with lotion and that, combined with a wet floor.... disater. I did, however, fall on my ass, not on my belly. Regardless, my right hip is fucking screaming, still... so 2 days after my fall I head to the ER for some muscle relaxers and vicodin. This was on the 27th, the fall on the 25th and I am still in an immesne amount of pain and theres nothing they can do to help me with it for now. Can't xray, and can't have more drugs and Tylenol... hahaha, a joke. So, move forward now to the 2nd at 1am and I'm in bed crying my ass off cause it feels like someone is standing on my lower uterus, we thought the baby was coming, but no, just false contractions, a shot in the arm to make it stop.
And that brings me to today. My hip makes it almost impossible to walk, my belly is bigger than I ever thought it would be even with my being a fat girl and the baby has an irregular heartbeat. It skips. Ultrasound shows the valves of his tiny heart to be o, but last exam he was back up, so they couldn't get his heart to show all that well. I'll need to have him see his pediatrician as soon as he is born to determin if further heart evaluation is needed. They keep telling me its probably nothing but I'm not sure. I'm actually very worried.
Still having a hard time getting everything together for the baby that I'm going to need, daddy still hasn't found a job and I cannot get cash assistance through the state cause I'm pregnant, how much fucking sense does that make? So I have been doing a mad scramble contacting local resource centers to get clothes and diapers for him, still no bottles, still need a few essential clothing things like socks and lil hats to keep his head warm for the winter, blankets and all that other fun stuff like wipes, lotions and butt creams... so much yet to do, so little time. Found an angency that gives new infant car seats for free, but I have to go to a church and listen to them tell me how I'm a fucking sinner and should accept christ and all that... not sure if it's worth it. Been trying to get my hands on some yarn to make some baby blankeies myself and some lil sweaters and hats but for some reason , yarn costs... money.
So if anyone has any ideas where I can look for these things... lemme know.
Posted at 10:58 am by Karma
That's right, I do indeed live. Sadly nothing has changed, aside from the size of my breasts and belly and my ass and my ankles and my feet and my... body.
I found out a few weeks ago that this thing growing in my body and kicking my kidneys is going to be a little boy. Through very little negotiation and alot of bickering and pissing and moaning about boy names, we have decided to call him Jordan.
I've managed to accumulate a few things for the baby through a few generous handouts, but sadly with no job... getting stuff together is kinda rough and frankly I'm worried about finding everything I need in time. His father is still in the process of finding stable permanent work which is another bitch session in and of itself. I got a really cute newborn carseat that was used for maybe all of a month for free from someone on Craigslist and a close friend bought me a kick ass Fisher-Price baby bouncer that vibrates and plays music and such. I've got about 20 lil newborn and 3-6 month outfits that are so adorable... gotta love Baby Gap... and beyond that... ummm.
I dream about him nightly, I lay around rubbing my belly alot and worry about his future and try to imagine who he will be. My boobs are swollen, sting and are getting the crusty crap, it hurts to walk and move and I pee so often I can barely keep up with replenishing the fluids. Sleeping comes in 2 hour incriments and I do belive I've more luggage 'round my eyes than Louis Vitton. And somewhere in all this I'm told it's all worth it. Bee, tell me it's worth it please.
My relationship with the baby's father continues to be a bit rocky and unpredictable, though we had a pretty plesant date last night that followed a horrendous fight. Then today, another shitty day. *sigh* I'm too tired to keep trying some days.
Anyhow, small update, more later when my butt doesn't hurt and I'm allowed to use the computer.
Posted at 05:38 am by Karma
And completely unrelated to any of that, tomorrow would have been my 10 year wedding anniversary to the jerk. I am happy with my new life, so why am I sad about that one little fact?
Posted at 01:25 pm by Karma